I just wanted to share a few thoughts about my journey in CFI the past 5 months.
When I joined I felt broken, lonely and a failure with zero self confidence.. I needed a reason to push myself because I noticed myself slipping back to my old ways and could see my 104kg top weight creeping back again. I didn’t like myself and couldn’t see why anyone else would like me either.
Joining CFI was one of my better decisions
The first few days I felt a bit awkward. When people congratulated me or said well done at the end of a workout it made me cringe. I would say “thanks but I only did scaled “ or “thanks but I did fewer reps than others”. Truth is I am more comfortable with criticism than praise. People were being nice but I was unsure if they were being genuine. I was constantly comparing myself to others and feeling a failure because I couldn’t do what they could.
It didn’t take long to realize that CFI is a place where people are welcomed, where even the smallest achievements are celebrated and where members and coaches really do care about others. Everyone was really welcoming and I was soon chatting to people on the couch before and after workouts and was feeling less awkward.
The real turning point for me was the open. I was encouraged to take part and seeing everyone work so hard, seeing everyone pushing each other and having the opportunity to judge others seemed to boost my confidence. Watching others achieve PB’s and doing movements for the first time was inspirational and watching Sam and Marie do workouts was just awesome, I couldn’t understand why people as fit and as capable as them would even notice my efforts let alone encourage me and congratulate me on my performances.
So I could feel my confidence increasing and I was starting to feel I had a right to be part of this amazing group of people, next step was to begin to sort out my nutrition.
Starting the accountability with Derek was a bit daunting but he was so kind and encouraging. His weekly texts to see how I am doing are very much appreciated and help me to stay focused or to regain focus if I have strayed a bit. This is one are I still stress about too much but I am slowly making progress and am beginning to feel proud of myself.
Next big step was my goals review with Seán. He made me realize I was trying to do too much at once. He also pointed out that my goals were purely focused on skills I wanted to learn and my weight, I hadn’t given any thought to my emotional and social needs at all. That review certainly gave me a lot to think about and after that I started writing a journal each day. My thoughts are definitely getting more positive as time passes and I am much happier.
PT sessions with Seán (are torture mostly) but always a highlight. His training style suits me and amazingly he makes me believe in myself.
CFI is like therapy for me even if I arrive feeling down I always leave with a smile. My confidence is probably at 7 now and even though I still have bad days with the support of everyone at CFI they remain bad days and don’t turn into bad weeks.
I am thankful for the day I walked into CFI and would highly recommend it to others
So Colm, Derek,Seán, Sam and Madie keep doing what you do bringing fitness health and happiness to us all
My few thoughts turned into an epic but there you have it. Just wanted to share my positivity, here’s to the next 5 months