I was angry at the world. Angry at the injustice of it all. Angry at myself for not knowing who to trust, how to tell friend from foe. And my friends were worried. Real worried.
A counsellor referred me on to Pieta House. At the time I didn’t know who or what they were, and felt a bit like Sonny Corleone at the Toll Booth ringing them.
Patrick went with me for my first session, which was more of an assessment. He just sat in the car and waited for his friend, not sure which way it would go. He came with me for my first “real” therapy session too.
That didn’t go well. The first thing the counsellor said was “on a scale of 1-10, how likely are you to kill yourself?”, no “hi, how are you?” to begin with. Needless to say we didn’t click and the session ended rather promptly.
But here’s where it did come good. Derek rang again for me to book me another appointment, with a different therapist. It can feel exhausting starting from the beginning with someone and telling them you feel broken and like giving up. But Joe, my new therapist, was brilliant.
Over 10 sessions Joe brought me from “what’s the point?” to feeling strong and confident in myself. What’s more, he helped me come up with a ‘survival plan’ for whenever depression would rear it’s ugly head again (and trust me, it does.) Without his great work, I’m not sure what would have happened.
Why am I telling you this? Because we’ve a chance to support Pieta House in a few weeks by walking in their Darkness Into Light event.
Also, by sharing this, and by us all walking, we can possibly help someone who really needs it.
People mightn’t know that what they feel a hell of a lot of others feel. They might just think they’re the ones that are somehow faulty, and feel ashamed about it. So ashamed they do bring themselves to that inescapably dark place. Each time we expose our vulnerabilities, and make it okay to be not okay, we make it a little easier for someone to open themselves up. A little time or donation from us can make a huge positive impact on someone else’s world.